How Can Neat and Sloppy Have Happy Marriage
Written by Susan Watson
My husband Steve and I met by accident though a friend. I was attracted by his charm and attitude. I’ve felt secure with him. It was a passion. It was love at first sight. We’ve got married after dating for eight years. This is were my story actually begins.
Most men are sloppy. Their dirty shirts and socks are everywhere. Why doesn’t he make a bed for a change? In our marriage was the opposite. Steve was 200% neat. And 200% annoying. I am the one who is quite sloppy.
You think I’m lucky? Think about husband who wants a pharmacy for a home. And life too. Everything in order. My part of a closet had to perfect. Every meal had to be interesting, low fat and different from previous. Sink had to be neat. He wanted perfectly made bed (like in the military). No dust in corners. He was freaking out if we were late somewhere. Even if it was just 5min. Everything needed to be planned. I was freaking out, too. I was sick and tired of that sloppy man.
We were completely opposite! We were fighting all the time. This was turning us apart. I was feeling embarrassed as a woman, wife and mother. He was feeling unhappy too. Love flame was fading.
Read how neat and sloppy can have happy marriage. Find out how we made a impossible makeover. Read these tips that gave us our lives back.
My husband believed that life is a compound of predictive events.
I’ve believed that things should be spontaneous.
Obviously, I’ve used to date men who are more sloppy then me. I’ve lost my driving license a day before our family trip. I was loosing house keys quite often. I’ve found one couple of months later. Next to the washing machine. After we changed the lock. I’ve lost my mobile phone with all contacts. Twice in 6 months! Steve told me that I could easily forget kid in the park.
We sat down one day. We have put all our cards on table. It was honest. In some moments brutal. It was hard to hear the truth. We both needed to say what we had to say and to hear the other side.
- We decided not to judge each other. We decided to understand why is the other different.
- We have to count to 5 before we decide to make critics.
- It’s all about THE WAY you say critics. Adjust it to a listener because you want him to understand.
- Think WHEN are you going to criticize. Choose the right time and atmosphere.
- Try to share solutions, not judgments. Steve made me a shelf where I put now all my keys.
- Share house responsibilities. Steve took over some house duties. I’m more careful about putting things back where they belong.
- Don’t suppress your unhappiness. You are both adult. You are life partners. Share your emotions and feelings regularly.
- Get more organized. I’m writing down all my tomorrow’s duties before I go to bed.
- Spontaneous spirit! I’ve surprised my husband with little hiking trip. He had no clue. We left kids with my parents and spent amazing day at the lake. No organization. No preparation. No agenda. Just pleasure and relaxation. He loved it.
Learning about each other is a process. It’s worth because you love each other. Because you are building a family. Because you are both not perfect. Because your marriage can be a happy one. Remember, even neat and sloppy can have a happy marriage.